Battling Bitterness

One cannot address the subject of Helpmeet without covering the issue of bitterness. I remember being terribly disappointed about having to go back to work after I had my first child. A mentor at the time said three very powerful words to me... “Don't get bitter.” Shortly after that I decided to do a study on bitterness, and have from time to time revisited the truths God showed me during that season of my life.

The first mention of the word “bitter” in the Bible is in Exodus 15:23-27: “And when they came to Marah, they could not drink of the waters of Marah, for they were bitter: therefore the name of it was called Marah. And the people murmured against Moses, saying, What shall we drink? And he cried unto the LORD; and the LORD shewed him a tree, which when he had cast into the waters, the waters were made sweet: there he made for them a statute and an ordinance, and there he proved them, And said, If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the LORD thy God, and wilt do that which is right in his sight, and wilt give ear to his commandments, and keep all his statutes, I will put none of these diseases upon thee, which I have brought upon the Egyptians: for I am the LORD that healeth thee. And they came to Elim, where were twelve wells of water, and threescore and ten palm trees: and they encamped there by the waters.”
The Israelites had embarked upon their journey to the Promised Land with great expectations. They had experienced God's power in a remarkable way, and were anticipating a wonderful journey ahead.

I think marriage is much the same way. When we are anticipating being married, we rarely consider the challenges that lie ahead. If we do consider them, that consideration is generally done in the context of “rose-colored” love! Just like the Israelites, we often come to that first real trial after we begin our journey into the promised-land of marriage, and we find ourselves faced with some bitter water when we are SO thirsty for something fresh and good. Perhaps bitterness is an ongoing battle in your marriage. Maybe you have committed to stay in a difficult situation, viewing your marriage as your ministry and having a strong desire to obey God's call on your life in your marriage. The Bible tells us that bitterness is a root from which many undesirable things spring and affect all those around us. Hebrews 12:15 says, “Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; least any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.” Notice the words, “looking diligently”, Looking diligently at what? If you back up to verses 2-4 of that same chapter, you'll see the answer: “Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider him that endured such contraction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin.” Our focus to keep the temptation to be bitter rooted out of our lives? Jesus. I know it sounds like a “Sunday School answer”, but if you take to heart what these verses are saying and truly consider Him, it puts our difficulties in perspective. If Jesus loves us that much, certainly we can love our husbands through Him.


Now, look back at Exodus 15. This is such a cool example of how the Old Testament paints pictures of New Testament truths for us. What did God tell Moses to do about that bitter water? God showed him a tree (as in cross). He told him to cast that tree into the bitter waters, and suddenly the waters became sweet! Then God made them further promises if they only hearken diligently to his voice and obey Him. Finally, he led them to Elim where there were twelve wells and ten palm trees, and they camped by those waters. Reminds me of some verses (Ephesians 3:20-21a), “unto him that is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto him be glory.”

Friends, we often cannot change our circumstances, but we can allow God to change our response to those circumstances. God, and only God can provide a way of escape when the temptation to become bitter is strong. Some of us are faced with circumstances that frequently dangle that temptation in front of our faces! But God provides the way of escape via the cross of Jesus. There is no sweeter thing in life than the reality that God in the flesh loved us so much that he left His Heavenly throne, was wrongly accused, horribly treated, and crucified for us. Then, he rose again and gave us the opportunity not only for eternal life, but for abundant life now -- even in our less-than-desirable circumstances. Look diligently to Jesus, my friend. Be encouraged and empowered by His love. He, in turn, may not replace your bitter waters, but certainly will remove the bitterness! What a joy! With man this is impossible, but with God, all things are possible!